I was walking home from school the other day and was seized by a compulsion to duck into the local coffee shop/wine bar/book store. As if pulled by a magnet, I beelined to the used section in the back (my favorite place, of course) and quickly came upon a beautifully illustrated book of Buddhist prayers and practices that I’d seen before but never purchased.
Knowing I’d already found what I came for, I started venting to the guy ringing me up. Something about, oh, whoa is me, this labyrinth of bullshit I am saddled with in law school… And so on. Just sensing, I think he realized why I was complaining. It’s not that I truly can’t stand what I’m doing in school, it’s the dearth of other aspects to life, to learning and to consciousness that I find myself rebelling against. And that was why I’d stopped by the store. To re-charge. Re-connect with reading material that feeds rather than crushes my soul.
The amazing part, which humbled me, honestly — was that he said I looked like “the embodiment of balance.” I had my admin law book nestled under one arm with my new Buddhist practices book cradled under the other. I was on my way home from the gym. About to walk my steadfast pup. And although scared about what the future holds, it seemed I was holding space in that moment just fine.
The moral of the story? Remember to keep what warms your heart and enlivens your existence on you at all times. Don’t let yourself get weighed down too much by the books that leave you empty. And express your true feelings. Ya never know what kind of affirmation will come back to you in return.